The age of democracies

Well, we've had quite an airing of the practice of telling off, haven't we? I've been reminded of - amongst others - being given what for, being for it, being chewed out, and getting a talking to, a roasting, and a dressing down. I think the most usual American equivalent to telling off is scolding, a word which sounds very Victorian to British ears, (and which I've always found uncomfortably close to scalding).

Now, here's someone to whom I'd like to give a telling off. President Obama's speech writer. The one who put in the line in Obama's China speech that referred to America as "the oldest democracy in the world". Oldest democracy in the world? Excuse me?

Last time I talked about history, I displayed my woefully inadequate knowledge by asserting that Britain doesn't have a written constitution, and apparently we do. It's the Magna Carta. So I don't want to embarrass myself by quoting from my stock of limited historical facts, but surely America isn't the oldest democracy? Come on guys! First up, there's Britain. How can you not count Britain? I suspect it's because you think we're a monarchy and therefore not a proper democracy. And yes, the Queen does sign every Act of Parliament, so I suppose technically she could veto any she didn't like. But it's still a democracy. Trust me. I've lived there. I've voted there.

Even if you don't count Britain (and I can feel a certain rising of the blood pressure as I write that), I think you'll find there have been other democracies, in other times, in other places, which pre-date America's. I'm thinking Ancient Rome. I'm thinking Ancient Greece. I'm thinking I should shut up at this point because I really don't know much about how those societies organised themselves, but I'm pretty sure they elected their leaders.

What about France, for heaven's sake? They had a revolution way back when. They even used three consecutive numbers to make the date easy to remember: 1789. Well done them. Didn't that give them the vote? "Aux armes, Citoyens", and all that. No... no... not Citroens... Citoyens! We're talking democratic rights, not the auto industry.

Perhaps Mr Obama was including Native American democratic practices in his reckoning. If so, I think he overlooked a few teensy weensy facts, because the transition from existing Native American democracies to modern day America's political system wasn't exactly seamless, was it?

So, Mr Obama Speech Writer in the White House in Washington - yes, you standing in the corner with the dunce cap on your head - consider yourself on the receiving end of a right royal chew-ass tongue-lashing roasting what for.

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