Thank you, lovely Bloggy Friends, for being with me through my insecurities.
Over the past few months, I've thought it best to keep blogging, because then, at least, I am writing. And that is better than not writing. Then occasionally, just occasionally, I write a post and decide not to publish it, but to keep it for my book. So there are just a very few pages written. A very few. But that seems to be where a lot of bloggers are, if your comments are anything to go by, and it's always good to know you're not alone. Thank you.
9-yo asked me a little while ago, about jobs and being a mum. I don't know what prompted the question. I didn't want to get too heavy about it all - she's only 9 - but I said that it seems that most women have to make choices that men don't have to make in quite the same way. I said that you don't have to have children, but if you do, you either have to look after them, or have someone else do it. I said that it was super-fun and very wonderful to be able to do it yourself, but that did mean you couldn't always be concentrating on other things. I said that anyway, it might all have changed a bit by the time she's grown up, but probably not, and she will have choices to make, but it will be ok. You just do the best you can.
She thought about it for a few seconds, and then replied,
"I think I'll have children, and then I'll chillax and get a dog".
So I'm a role model... of some kind?
.
In my book I have just written a scene where the protagonist thinks about what she would say to her daughter, if she had one, about being a mum and the choices it involves. spooky
ReplyDeleteDon't underestimate the importance of being a good role model. Winning a Pulitzer won't make your children any happier. You being there loving them will.
Clever little girl :)
ReplyDeleteLovely. ( She obviously sees you as "chillaxed" which is nice?)
ReplyDeleteYou never know what your children pick up. When I was in the zumba gala recently, my youngest opted come and watch with my DB who was surprised. He asked my son why he had decided to come (and sit through boring kiddies' dances) and he replied that I had always gone to watch him when he did a show he decided to show his support and come and watch me. I wasn't there at the time so only heard these sweet words later when my DB told me. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm always glad when I know there are other SAHMs around being there for their kids. I know we all have our paths to follow, and I know that many people will take umbrage with my comments, but it makes me feel good to know that other people like raising their kids and are okay with the sacrifices involved.
ReplyDeleteEverytime I see that word CHILLAX I think of Andrew Winter and his "this deck is perfect to chill out with a nice glass of wine" show. lol
Men miss out on a lot by being at work while their children are growing - or at least that's what I used to think before my daughter hit puberty! I'm not sure my 10yo has fully grasped the sacred nature of motherhood, however. When she was outraged at being asked to wash up her supper things I pointed out that it's a menial task I perform thrice daily. 'Yes, but you chose to become a mother so you must have wanted to be a servant,' she retorted beguilingly.
ReplyDeleteWhen my daughter was very little she said that she wasn't going to go to college, she was going to be a mom. Sigh...
ReplyDeleteNever don't post something because you want to 'keep it for your blog.' I know lots of bloggers who have published and sold books that were all given for free on their blog. Most people who read your book will never have read your blog. Even if they did, the chances that they read that particular post are slim. And even if they did, they won't mind.
ReplyDeleteIn my business life, I write books that are practical how-to guides, so it's different in some ways, but most of what I put in my books was already said at some point on my blog.
I don't suppose I can be a role model for your DD9 since I've never met her, but it's nice to know that staying home with your kids and a dog sounds attractive to someone! Have to say, when I was doing it all those years, I really, really enjoyed it. Now that I'm back at work (especially on busy and stressful mornings) I do often miss (what I feel was) a more peaceful lifestyle (compared to the chaos with 2 of us rushing to work.) So nice that your daughter sees what you do as 'chillaxing.' You must be good at maintaining a calm facade.
ReplyDeleteOh, and as for the book: it'll come, just give it some time. ; )
Being a mother full time staying at home is the most important job there is. The years, a small proportion of your life, will fly by and those years will never come again. Enjoy.
ReplyDeleteMy oldest (she's now 6) once told me that when she grew up she was going to be an artist so that she could do her art at home and look after her kiddies at the same time. Interesting that they think about it at such a young age. I doubt I ever thought about it when I was that little.
ReplyDeleteha, brilliant. Sounds like a lovely life ;)
ReplyDelete