We all hate those phone calls where you go round and round, choosing options from a menu, conversing in monosyllables with an electronic voice. I've worked out that if you just pretend you're incompetent, and press digits that aren't in the menu presented to you, you get through to a real person more quickly. The other day I tried to do that verbally. When the cheery electronic voice asked me to say in a few words what I wanted help with, I just burbled down the phone at it. "Blurblurblur". It didn't work. The electronic voice said "I think you said you needed help with service availability. Is that correct?"
We had the packers in yesterday. If I have one tip for moving, it is this. Be ready for the packers. We had been told they would start the job on Friday and finish on Monday. But it was a crew of five people, motivated to finish as quickly as possible, and finish they did. Even though I've lived in America for five years, I think somewhere deep down I kind of expected them to find me at five o'clock on the dot, sniff, hand me an empty tea mug, and say "that's us done for the day... see you on Monday morning...". In fact, they stayed till 7.30pm, tidied up everything behind them, put their QuikTrip 32oz plastic cups in the trash, and left us in a house full of boxes.
So although I had kind of hoped that I might be doing bits of sorting and organising here and there while they were packing, it was just as well that Husband and I had got up at 4.30am to finish up as much as we could before the locusts descended. It's rather rude of me to call them locusts, because after all, they are providing a service for us, and they were polite and friendly. But it does feel a bit like that, when people are making all your possessions disappear into boxes, the treasured things and the daily items, undifferentiated. So it was good to get up early and be just a little ahead of the game. The bad thing about getting up at 4.30am, though, is that it catches up with you 24 hours later, and you are totally knackered. I am trying hard to look after myself during this whole stressful time, but I tell ya, it's not easy. I had arranged to have a massage yesterday evening, which was very nice. Actually, it was particularly nice because it meant I had to leave the locust house. I'd arranged it for 6.00pm (I really did think they were going to sniff and leave at 5.00pm on the dot, didn't I? I probably thought they'd be wearing brown work coats, have mustaches, whistle while they work, and be called Bill and Ted.)
Husband and I then dozed through a movie, in which Justin Timberlake lives in an imaginary world where no-one is older than 25 (a world, therefore, in which no-one falls asleep while watching movies).
Well, I am rambling, because I haven't had enough sleep, and because rambling is my default state. You know how if you have a power cut, all the electrical items in your house flash "12.00" at you when the power comes back on. That's their default option. Well, mine is rambling. Writing this blog post is the equivalent of me flashing noon at you. Or midnight.
Oh, I do have one more tip about moving. Before the packers come, decide whether you are going to tip. (See what I did there?) Otherwise, you will find yourself on the front porch, texting a couple of friends: "Do u tip moving ppl? Wot is etiquette here? There r 5 of them. There will be 5 diffrnt ppl on Tues. Getting expnsv! They r professnl cmpny, not just 2 guys & a truck. Dsn't feel right to tip, but dsn't feel right not to." You will then find yourself trying to discuss the issue secretly with your spouse - not easy with 5 extra people in your house - on the basis of your friends' advice. One friend told me "Oh gosh, am hopeless on this knd v thing." The other said "Hsbnd says no, but I'm not so sure. Cld u giv them cupcakes?" I replied "No baking eqpmt left in kitchen". See what I mean? Who needs that kind of additional stress on packing day? Work out your tipping policy in advance, Peoples.
