Well, it was a pony tail holder, so congrats to those of you who got it right or came close. The petals were a bit misleading, I know. Originally 5-yo had said "it's used by girls" and I, in a proper politically-correct non-gender-delimiting way, encouraged her to add in the "mostly". I pointed out that we do have a male friend (adult, not Kindergarten) who wears his hair in a pony tail, although it must be said that I haven't ever seen him wear it in a bright yellow elastic band with decorative petals.
At the wedding service of Mike and Phoebe in Friends , Mike says to Phoebe "I love the way you're so wonderfully weird", which is where I nicked the title of this series of posts from. Now I have muddled my way through all my children's preschool years, I can look back and say that mostly I have toed some kind of majority line, and gone with the prevailing flow. But there have been some things on which I have found myself out on a limb. One of the great things about mummy blogging - parent blogging, I should say - is that it gives me confidence to be a little braver than I might otherwise have been. And certainly braver in talking about it. I have learned that if I want to do something a little differently, chances are that someone else out there agrees with me. I’ve often read posts which have made me say “Ah, so it’s not just me, then”.
So I thought I’d do a little series on the ways in which I have found myself wonderfully weird, as a parent. Feel free to join in my weirdness, or to confess to your own. There’s nothing as cleansing as divulging some personal weirdness amongst friends. You should try it some time, if you haven’t already.
The first way I’m a wonderfully weird parent, is that I hate sleepovers. Who on earth invented the sleepover? You invite my child and a few others to your child’s birthday party. You are going to give them all pizza and have them watch a movie. Fine. Stop there. It’ll be 8.00pm or 9.00pm. I will come and get my child. Everyone will have a lovely time, presents will be opened, photos will be taken, and the birthday will be duly celebrated. But oh no, no, no. You insist on keeping him overnight. This means that he will go to bed at midnight. He will wake up at his usual time, or earlier, perverse though that seems. You will feed him a high-octane sugar breakfast of pancakes or waffles. Then I will collect him, and for the rest of the day, he will be intermittently grumpy, close to tears, unable to amuse himself, and will bicker with his siblings. If I suggest he is tired, he will shout “I’m NOT tired, I keep TELLING you”. The best I can hope for is to wuther through the day, get him to bed relatively early, and hope that normal service is resumed tomorrow. One day, may I just point out, is half the week-end.
So far, I have avoided sleepovers as much as possible. I have never hosted one. If given the option, I have collected the child in the evening. I have even stooped as low as quickly organizing something for the next day, to give myself a feeble mummy excuse about an early morning start. This week-end, since we have had a week of allergies, I sent along a night-time Benadryl tablet, hoping this would somehow encourage an earlier bedtime, or at least a modest lie-in. It didn’t. I have managed to sneak by on minimum sleepovers so far, but with a 5 year old daughter, I fear I am soon to enter the era of major sleepover activity.
What is this ridiculous enthusiasm for sleepovers? At best, if hosted by a family you know well, you have to endure a day on the receiving end of the behavior of an irritable toddler in the body of an older child. At worst (and this hasn’t yet happened to me, but I can imagine the dilemma it poses), if hosted by a family you don’t know well, you spend an anxious evening wondering what on earth possessed you to let your child stay in a strange house, and then you have the endurance trial the following day as well.
Does anyone share my weird hatred of sleepovers? Am I not as weird as I think on this one?
Thankfully, we haven't had a sleepover yet. I dread them- and with girls aged 6 & 8, they can't be far away. Mine go to bed early and get up early- a sleepover will freak them out. And I'm wierd enough to worry that they'll go to sleep earlier than the friends, and then be laughed at forever. Down with sleepovers. Until they're teenagers and sneaking out drinking. No, that's not any easier.
ReplyDeleteYup, hate them, giving them or sending a child on one. Thought everybody did!
ReplyDeleteLoathsome. Why would I want someone else's child overnight unless I was helping out in some kind of crisis? I think you will need to rename your post "normal parenting - taboo topics." Or just raise the subject casually with a group of mums and get them to agree. Then none of you ever need do it.
ReplyDeletelove
Josephine
Wouldn't want to have one at my house, never sent my kid to one. He has had sleepovers with just a couple of other kids, which was fine.
ReplyDeleteYou have to draw the line somewhere. I would start thinking of excuses....
ReplyDeleteMy now15 yr old didn't like them after wanting to come home at midnight on the last two he tried, way back when he was abour seven or eight. I thought that i'd got home scot free on the dreaded sleepovers but of course, I went on to have twins. i am now in sleepover hell! They are nine (boy/girl) and are constantly demanding to go on them or worse still, want to host two kids at once.
ReplyDeleteI think my dislike stems from the feeling that my husband and I end up with no time to ourselves; we can't even doss in front of the telly because there is a riot going on upstairs. Also, I never feel as if I can have a relaxing glass of wine while we are under invasion in case somebody needs to be carted home at some ungodly hour.
So, the short answer is, i LOATHE sleepovers!
Yes, not keen myself, although kids seem to love them.
ReplyDeleteI think I am quite a strict sleepover mum though. I make them go to sleep (they always do) by about 10.
I hate sending the kids to sleepovers when you know that the parents are less vigilent/will not give a toss if they go to sleep at all, watch horror films or surf porn on the internet - only joking (I hope). Maybe I shouldn't allow my offspring to go to those homes? ha ha. But it is a dodgy area. Play dates are one thing, imagine what it will be like when our little treasures are old enough to buy their own booze, drugs and drive a car - nightmare!
My 5 year old is already pestering me about sleepovers! Gah!
ReplyDeletePeople like doing sleep overs? The thought of having another child telling tales on my terrible parenting sends shivers down my spine. No no no no no. I'm not even going to let them know that such things exist. ('no darling, a sleep over is when you turn over in your sleep...')
ReplyDeletePS - my word verification is slyticat. Heh heh heh
You are absolutely right about sleepovers. IJ has not been on one yet but I would dread it becasue if she's not in bed by 7.30pm she is a monster the next day. For that very reason I do not even let her stay up on New Year's Eve. I can't bear the thought of having to host a sleepover either!
ReplyDeleteOMG, yes, yes, yes, all the way from Australia - yet we are made to feel like we are rather weird. Absolutely hate sleepovers, don't understand them, have been really strict about letting them go to them (ie. only at families where I know the parents - and I make sure they know that I'm fussed on them so please don't expect me to return the favour.) I simply do not understand why other parents want to do it. For all the reasons listed by you, and in the other comments. Especially parties! It gets harder and harder the older they get, so have relented a couple of times now, but sheesh... why?
ReplyDeleteHave not experienced this yet, thankfully. I think it's possibly a bit more common in the US. Rosemary stays over with her Granny quite often (maybe once or twice a month) and almost always goes to bed later there than here, but not usually midnight. She did have a sleepover in a sense last time, as her cousin stayed over as well. In fact, they both went to sleep (in separate rooms) at reasonable times. I was quite surprised, as I imagined it would be closer to midnight!
ReplyDeleteMy picture of sleepovers, is teenage girls (or at least 10-year-olds). Didn't imagine it started earlier than that!
I hope my baby takes after me. I hated sleeping somewhere else, as I always thought other people's bedding stank. (!) Or maybe she takes after my husband: he's been afraid of other kids. Sometimes I think he still is.
ReplyDeleteI despise sleep overs and have decided at my house only then I know what's going on, well at least until she's about 25 anyway...
ReplyDeleteI will blame the husband.
'Sorry, my husband doesn't like her sleeping over at other peoples houses...' Apparently, it works a treat!
I am a strong anti-sleepover advocate! There is no "sleep" in sleep over, only the aftermath of dealing with a child that is exhausted, irritable, and detoxing from all the crap ingested during the sleepover.
ReplyDeleteAlways willing to pick my child up later in the evening, but always met with resistance from my child or attitude from other parents that there is something wrong with me for not allowing my child to sleep over.
There are only a few parents that I trust out there that I know will respect my parenting values and they are not the one's inviting my children to sleepovers.