Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Really whingey complaining post; don't read it if you're looking for something cheerful or uplifting

Well, here's a sad thing. I don't like my hairstyle. I don't like the cut and I don't like the colour.

I liked my new cosmetologist, and it was all very soothing and enjoyable. And when I came away, I really really liked it. I liked it so much that I cried in the car all the way home, like the little pig. When I went to pick up the kids, everyone at school said it was too cute, so I still liked it.

Then I came home and looked at it more carefully, and all the shine fell off the day. For a start, the fringe/bangs isn't/aren't long enough, so the shape round my face still looks like a Playmobil character. The rest of it is kind of ok, but it's not very interesting. It's just sort of... there. What really irks me, though, is the colour. It was meant to be, after a long discussion, high lights and low lights. But as far as I can see, it's patches of purple. There are bits that are pure purple (and we definitely talked about red and never once mentioned purple), and then there are bits that are the black/grey that I was trying to cover, untouched. It's choppy, clumpy, blotchy. Highlights aren't meant to be like that. Are they?

Look, here's a picture.


See what I mean. Look at the Playmobil-meets-Medieval-Edmund-Blackadder shape at the brow. And look at the purple stripes. And there's a great big splurge of purple right at the front. See? It was meant to be a subtle effect, not an 'I've just dipped my head forward into a pot of purple paint' look.

The only good thing is that I can now go back to buying the odd DIY kit from the supermarket, and be happy with the result, and not feel I'm being cheap. I honestly think I do a better job. Most of all, though, I just want my old hair back, like I want my old body back, and my old life back.

And since I'm now doing a misery post, I'm going to add a few more things in. In no particular order, the following things are really getting me down.

I can't find a babysitter for Saturday night. Husband is away in England (Hi Honey), and there's a school fundraiser do. I really fancy going. This is quite big and brave, since of course it'll all be very couples-orientated, and I'll be on my own. I have tried all my usual babysitters. I have asked around, and people have asked around for me. The kindergarten teacher has asked her daughter. The school secretary's daughter (who is babysitting for someone else) has asked all her friends. Beyond simply going up to complete strangers in Target and asking them if they fancy pizza and a movie with three delightful children on Saturday night, I have really run out of options. I hardly ever go out, and I was invited to join a table of particularly nice bods, so this is a blow. Today was the last day for buying tickets. It's 11.45pm. I've still got 15 minutes. I suppose I could nip over to Target...

Our front lawn is covered in dinner-plate-sized spots. I suppose you could call it green highlights, but actually, it just looks very odd. Very odd indeed. Like some kind of attempt to produce a chess board of dark and light squares in our front garden. It's the work of the garden company who came and sprayed and fertilised the trees. They said "It'll be fine in 2 - 3 weeks, when your lawn starts growing for the summer, and the rest of the grass will be the same as the spots where we put the fertiliser". That was 4 or 5 weeks ago. I would post a picture, but it's dark now, and really, this kind of drivellous out-pouring is best just posted when you write it, rather than waiting for tomorrow's daylight hours.

I scraped another car in the school parking lot. The damage was minuscule. I had to rub the dirt off to make sure it wasn't just a spot of mud. Here's a picture.


I photographed it with the key fob for scale. The key fob is less than an inch and a half wide. I left a note, and was sort of expecting the car owner to say "Thank you so much for leaving a note, lots of people wouldn't have done. Don't worry about it. It's really a tiny mark, and as you can see, the car isn't in pristine condition". Or failing that, maybe "I'll ask my friend who runs a repair shop if he can touch it up". But no. The owner made it clear that I was causing inconvenience, and went and got a quote for stripping down and repainting the entire wheel arch, and mailed it to me, and it's $261. I did the right thing, but it's turned out to be a very expensive piece of real estate on the moral high ground that I'm occupying.

Not one of the FIVE people I emailed to ask to be proxies for my vote in the UK elections has replied. I guess I'm just a name in a spam mail folder these days. I've done my best, Emmeline Pankhurst. Well, I suppose I could phone as well, but it's kind of hard to pick up the phone out of the blue to people you haven't talked to for years, if you're after a favour, and if you're not even on their 'safe senders' list.

What else? Well, there's the tedious, and expensive, and aggravating, and bureaucratically demanding, process of medical examinations that we've had to go through for the purposes of getting permanent residency (which actually, in an ideal world, we wouldn't do, because we'd be heading back to Britain, but this isn't an ideal world...) I could probably write quite an interesting post about it. Some of it would even be quite funny. Like the 'every parent's worst nightmare' moment when the doctor asked about the bruise on my upper arm, and 6-yo piped up "it's from when her husband beats her up" (because I'd made a stupid quip about the bruise to her and 12-yo before the doctor came into the consulting room), and then I found myself on my own in the room, with the children waiting outside in the reception, being investigated for domestic abuse, except it turned out not to be, because THANK GOODNESS I decided to ask the doctor outright "are you investigating me for domestic abuse?", rather than go home and wonder for ever more what was written in my records. It turns out that part of the immigration medical is to check you for gonorrhea, which the doctor said was totally ridiculous "What are we going to do? Deport people for an infection that can be easily cleared up with a course of antibiotics?" and then he added that actually most of the medical exam was pretty much a formality, and I said "So why do they do it?" and he shrugged, and I thought "Best not pursue this line of enquiry, since I know why YOU do it, having just handed over a few hundred dollars to you for the privilege of being on the receiving end", and then I felt mean because actually he was very nice, and when I asked "Am I going to fail because I've had cancer?" he looked like he wanted to hug me.

Oh my word. I didn't know that whole immigration medical still rankled so much. And the whole immunisation thing. I get it, that every country wants to protect itself from foreigners bringing in diseases, but I've had mumps, I've been inoculated against measles and rubella, so did I really have to have that MMR jab? I've been living here over 3 years already. I don't think I could have been silently incubating any of those 3 diseases for all that time.

I think I am putting this one down as the Ultimate Bad Hair Day.

.

14 comments:

  1. Ack, Iota, ((hugs))

    I feel like I should be telling you how lovely it looks and not to worry etc. etc., cause, you know, that's what we're supposed to do, right? But I'm not that person, I'm that honest one that'll tell you you look awful in the outfit and not let you go out looking like that even if you hate her for it, you know? Sorry.

    So...the hair. I can't comment on the cut cause its to hard to tell from that angle but the colour is wrong. You should go back and show her, ask her to fix it. I'm guessing you paid a lot of money too. I would go back. Well actually, I wouldn't cause I'm too chicken, but I would tell everyone else to.

    And that guy who's 'pristine' car you dinged. What an ass. Seriously, the whole wheel arch? You're a better woman than I am, I would NOT have left a note. They probably wouldn't have noticed away. Sometimes it sucks to be that nice person who does the right thing, huh?
    ¨
    Sorry, i'm really not making you feel any better am I? going now.

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  2. Heather is right, you should go back (not that I can tell how good or not it looks, but mainly because you're not happy with the colour). BUT, and I know you don't feel you can take this for granted right now, but it WILL GROW! I promise. I guess that the first haircut, after all that's happened, was always going to be an emotional one - and I'm hoping that once you've had the chance to sleep on it and wash it at home that you feel a little better about it all. PMx

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  3. American Mom here...I used to live in Scotland...whinge away. I have cancer and the hair thing is a pain in the boot. Go buy a couple boxes of hair dye. Experiment. What's the worst that can happen? That's what I did. The hair that grew back after chemo took the color way different than before. And try styling it a couple different ways with hair stuff of your own over the next couple days. Don't worry about the idiot's car...unless it's a gold plated Bentley or something. Sheesh. Nobody bled to death or anything...you should tell him that. And telling him that is the high ground.
    We joked once at a Presbyterian preschool that we were Buddhist. Went over about as well as your domestic abuse comment...I've learned to try to keep that stuff inside my head.
    Chin up, dear...and chest out. This too, shall pass. Hugs.
    Roberta

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  4. Jeez. Bad hair day indeed. One thing about hair, though, is that it grows. Or grows out. Even after cancer. My sisters tried to dye my hair a fetching shade of red when I had tight grey curls appear after chemo. I have a picture of this unfamiliar lady with slightly pink curls somewhere. But it's all back to boring normal now.

    Can I be your proxy? Or do I live in the wrong place

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  5. Sorry about the hair! I can't quite tell either, but I would kill to be able to wear my hair that short. I have the wispy straight hair you mentioned having prior to your cancer treatment and I still have it since thankfully, my melanoma was caught so early that I did not need chemo.

    I love the heft of your hair though. I would go back and have your hairdresser redo your color ... they will do it without a second thought because purple was not in fact a color you two probably discussed as a desired outcome.

    Color disasters do happen though, once I looked like I had clown orange hair made worse by the fact that it was only in spots. When I got home and saw that I went back and had some treatments that evened it out at no charge.

    I would go back to your stylist before you put a color on at home or you could come out a color that has to grow out.

    Have you tried ruffling it down more, curving in towards the neck, forehead and cheekbones in a sort of Winona Ryder way.

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  6. Hi Iota, that really was some Bad Hair Day. Don't know what to say. I guess this answers my question when I asked how you were. Really hope you found a babysitter as that wd give you a little something to look forward to.
    I wd milk the fact that you are in the 'Land of Cutomer Service' & go back to your hairdresser for a re-colour.It IS purple, definitely. However I think the texture & wave of your hair looks great. Maybe you can grow it long & have Bedhead, pre-Raphaelite or even Shirley Temple curls....The possibilities are endless:o) Chin up, chuck, am thinking of you.

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  7. Sorry about the really crap dye job. You are right, its way to blochy and purple. The good news is that most people probably can't tell unless they are standing right next to you.

    As far as the cut goes. That is the hardest thing to figure out. I had some pretty crappy cuts in the begining, until I started saying "Don't give me a foodball helment" and it seemed to work.

    And I feel for you on the hoop jumping residency thing. My daughter's father is in the military so I have had to do the hoop jumping thing to get her military benifits. I'm convinced the U.S. government makes weird rules just to laugh at us all.

    Fun Fact: they don't except a State certified birth certificates as proof of age.

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  8. You were SO entitled to complain about these things. And it's horrible to get a haircut you don't like, no matter what everyone else thinks. I think you should go to the poshest hairdresser in town and get it done over.

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  9. Just popped by to see how you're doing (not been on the computer much this week) and very sad to see that you're not doing so well... Hope today was better (although having read the dear so and so post, I'm guessing not).

    I'm with Heather on the hair - can't really judge without seeing your face, but if you're not happy, tell them. Like Heather, I'm not that brave, but if you liked the girl, she probably liked you too (why wouldn't she?!) and I'm sure she'll understand. After all, the worst she can say is "no".

    As for the man with the car. Some people are just horrid. Sad, but true. And bureaucracy is a nightmare... and I have no idea how long you have to have known someone before you can be their proxy vote, but if really liking their blog counts, I'll happily cast your vote for you.

    Cup of tea time, with a dash of something stronger in it, I think. In fact, scratch the tea. Have a gin and tonic.

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  10. Iota, I love the title of this post..
    In your shoes, without the hair-do that you don't like and without the scratched car, I would be moaning ALL the time, and looking for chemosympathy. And expecting it.
    Moral high ground is a bloody expensive place- we had a similar car incident, and it bugged me for a good while. Then I decided he'd get his come-uppance some day.
    Re the hair, I agree with other commenters- go back, cos you're not happy.It's as important for the hairdresser as it is for you.
    Good luck with all of it.

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  11. It can be tough to get a new colour right the first time, and I agree, it does look rather purple. Maybe they can fix it? Maybe try a full dye rather than just highlights? The red colours do fade out quite quickly, at least.

    And that ding on the car? It is nothing! What an arse!

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  12. My husband just walked by and asked 'Who's that'? And I answered 'Iota and her new hair'. And he said 'Cool!'.

    Bad Hair Day is officially called off now.

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  13. oh crikey, this is waaay after the event, apologies, but work interfered with blogging last week. or was it the week before.

    what a nightmare. everything; i'm not picking on the hair.

    but honestly, i totally think you should go back. it's their job to fix stuff people don't like. and while i don't agree that it's purple, i'm sure it can be much more like you imagined it, and much less like they imagined. it. how are the two things ALWAYS so different with hairdressers??

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