I went shopping last night with 12-yo and bought him a cell phone (mobile phone) for Christmas. It’s been one of those issues over which I’ve felt such a parent. You know the kind of thing. He just wants one, wants one, wants one, and Husband and I are thinking “he only wants one because his friends all have one, he’ll probably lose it at school, what is he going to DO with it for heaven’s sake? why will he need to text his friends when he’s going to see them the next morning and what can they possibly have to say to each other anyway? and they’re so expensive, is he really going to want to spend ALL his pocket money on phone calls? Is he going to have enough money, or are WE going to pay for them?” I tried fishing back into my childhood, to find something equivalent, to try and remember what it felt like to be 12 years old and wanting something so badly, but I drew a blank. Maybe it was a different era.
Getting your first cell phone is something of a rite of passage. These days, young men can't really head out with their spears to kill their first animal, and I suppose it is fitting that in a society dominated by consumerism and technology, the purchase of a cell phone has come to represent a significant moment on the journey to adulthood. 12-yo had done his research: Verizon, T-mobile, AT&T. He’d collected leaflets, printed out pages from websites, compared tariffs. He persuaded me that AT&T was the best, because the two friends who he’ll be calling most have AT&T, and so he would get free calls to them. Conclusive argument, I had to agree.
It’s a bit like buying what 13 years ago was called a 'pram' or a 'pushchair', in the days when a 'travel system' was the Chicago El or the London Underground. The shop assistant said to you “what you need depends on your lifestyle”, and you were thinking “I don’t KNOW what my lifestyle is going to be like when I have a baby”. In the same way, the very helpful AT&T man was describing the 8,000 different plans to choose between, and was saying “what you need depends on how you’re going to use the phone”, and I was thinking “he doesn’t KNOW how he’s going to use the phone”.
We ended up with a compromise. I didn’t buy him the $300 (on special offer at $200) touch screen latest model, which is flying off the shelves so fast that I was going to have to leave my name and number and he was going to contact me the moment the next consignment came in. But I also didn’t buy him the $30 clunky model that makes even my aged phone look impressive. There was a fortunate half-way house that just happened to be on special offer (was it really, or do the sales assistants have the flexibility to invent a story at the last minute when the sniff of a sale is getting stronger?) It was a phone with a keyboard – which 12-yo assured me was vital, though I couldn’t really see how anyone except an elf would have small enough fingers to use it. The usual price was $100, but I paid $80, and $50 of that was given as credit to 12-yo for calls, bringing the ‘real’ price down to the same as the clunky $30. So everyone was happy. The sales assistant made a sale, 12-yo got a phone and $50 to spend on calls and texts, and I came away feeling I'd managed to avoid paying a complete fortune whilst also avoiding being as hopelessly luddite as I'm sure my son feared I would be.
In the middle of the purchase, 12-yo was looking at the phone and asked “how do you get to use the camera?” and I cringed inside and steeled myself, for I knew that the phone didn’t have a camera, and that being told so would be both a disappointment and a humiliation. I wanted to whisk him out of the store in the blink of an eye, explain the no-camera situation, and then run back in, and say to the assistant “let’s just rewind 45 seconds and pretend he didn’t ask that question, shall we?” But as I was cringing and steeling, a most strange thing happened. The assistant was taking the phone in his own hand and saying “you go down to Tools on this menu, and press OK, and then see, it says Camera, so you press OK, and there you are… Good to go”. Sometimes not being omniscient has its upside.
As we left, 12-you said to me “you were looking a bit sad in there. Were you ok? Or were you just thinking how I’m growing up?” I’m glad he displays such pinpoint precision in locating maternal feelings, because pinpoint precision is what he's going to need when it comes to the elf keyboard. I assured him that yes, I was thinking about how he’s growing up, but that no, I wasn’t sad. And I really wasn’t. It’s just the next thing.
So far, he has two contacts in his phone. Mum (“Shall I call you Mum or Iota?” “Call me Mum, I think”) and Tiny, the AT&T sales assistant (“if you’re having any problems, you can just text me and I’ll try and help”). And here’s the difference. I am Mum. It’s my name for 3 people in this world, and it’s also what I am. Whereas Tiny…
Yesterday was a big day for 12-yo. He also had an eye test that revealed what he suspected, ie that he needs glasses (it’s in the genes, poor kid had no chance). So tonight we’re going to go and choose frames. Phones and frames. It’s all happening at once. I can’t keep up.
And here’s one more little Mum moment. What 12-yo doesn’t remember, or maybe never knew, is that before the other two came along, I used to sign off missives to family “A,T&T”, because at that time, that’s who we were (Iota’s not my real name, you know). So secretly, I’m quite pleased he’s with them, though come to think of it, T-mobile would be very appropriate too.
.
Without trying to be at all cliched, they grow up so fast... (PS - your copy of Red is on it's way)
ReplyDeleteMy 5 year old keeps asking for a phone. I'm like 'Who the hell are you going to call??' I managed to distract him with the promise that he might get a new bike instead. Just picked it up today. Aged 6 - 8. It's so big it didn't fit in the back of the car properly, like all their dinky bikes to date have done. And I had a mummy moment too: He's growing up. Happens to us all. Just can't believe how fast it happens.
ReplyDeleteI'm dreading this one. Not to be a misery, but the massive increase in childhood brain tumours in the last few years has me worried. I know there's no evidence of mobiles being the cause, but they haven't been around long enough to accumulate evidence. I hope there's more data by the time my daughter wants one.
ReplyDeleteBtw My generation just had to have a Walkman and I bet there were health worries about them!
I was round at a neighbour's house yesterday and her 13 year old son was on the cellphone to a friend to organise an online gaming session over the web...things are certainly quite different from when we were kids!
ReplyDeleteGoodness, I can remember getting my first Walkman - HUGE big chunky thing that play tapes.... and we thought that was soooooo cool.
ReplyDeleteAnd it was. Then.
LCM x
p.s. Iota not your real name eh? You must have laughed at the name on the competition prize package when it arrived then!
I read the line "I knew that the phone didn’t have a camera" and wondered where on earth you found a cell phone that DIDN'T have a camera in it! Apparently it's impossible to find one that doesn't have a camera. I didn't want a camera in my phone. I have one. I even found an occasion when I wanted to use it - but I still have no idea how to get the picture out of the phone and onto my computer.
ReplyDelete12 seems to be the age over here as well. At least I can forget about it for another six years at least.
ReplyDeleteSo I guess I need to put that on the list for age 12 then? Wonder what phone will be like in five years time?
ReplyDeleteYour son sounds like a wonderful child!
ReplyDeleteOur 13 year old has a pay as you go phone (her dad's old one), but hasn't been able to afford to top it up. Dad was topping it up, in exchange for chores, but then they got weekly allowances and she choses to get sweets. Her choice. So what's the first thing she asks about the move to the US? Can I sell this phone and use the money to buy one in the US? I can't understand why she wants to...
Anyway, I'm researching phones and plans, and we do think she (and her brother should share) a phone for safety, as they'll be in a strange and foreign place. But I can't bring myself to do a 2 year contract for an 11 and 13 year old that can't manage to lay down the remote control without dropping it on the floor. So I think we'll do pay as you go for them and contract for us.
And Almost American, one of the phones I looked at is camera-less, I was shocked, as I didn't think they came without either.
Oh I know I went through all these same things (even down to the cringe when child was potentially getting it wrong and about to be disappointed re camera on phone)!! I can relate. I want my daughter to feel she is part of the pack but I dont want her to bow to peer pressure and trends. I want her to grow up slowly, and yet I want her to be ready for the world. I wish it wasnt such a cliche to say 'how fast they grow up'.
ReplyDeleteJust discovered your blog and can empathise greatly as have a 13 year old boy with a cell phone AND glasses! I have found the phone a great way of keeping in contact with my son if things crop up and he very rarely talks on it: plays around with the camers, sends a few texts to his mates and of course the odd reply to me when I'm checking up on him!
ReplyDeleteSo cute!
ReplyDelete