One good turn deserves another. You, America, have introduced me to the word cosmetology. I am going to introduce you to the word verruca (pronounced v ' roo ka). I discovered yesterday that you don’t know this word. I’m not going to tell you what it means, because you can click over to Wikipedia or Google and find out for yourselves very easily, and I’d like to build up the suspense a little. Remember how your teacher used to tell you that if you looked up a word yourself, you’d remember its meaning better? I’d hate to tell you straight off what a verruca is, and not give you the best possible chance of retaining the knowledge. With the knowledge will come the realisation that you missed out on the humour of the name of the character Veruca Salt in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (but you may feel that missing out on British humour is the best way of approaching it).
Meanwhile, we Brits can chat amongst ourselves, and say “how can they not have a word for a verruca?” You can also heave a sigh of relief on my behalf that I discovered this sorry lacuna in American English in the relatively unembarrassing context of a private conversation (although honestly, verrucae never make for a very pretty discussion). The alternative might have been in a crowded pharmacy:
“Have you got anything for a verruca? For a verruca. No, not a feraverruca. Just A VERRUCA. Yes, that’s right. A verruca. I don’t want them to stop my son swimming, you see. He's got several. In Britain, we use something called Bazooka to get rid of them. You don’t have that here? Do you have anything similar? No, I’m not trying to be funny. No, not offensive either. Um, well, [sensing it’s time to go] most people say that if you leave them alone, in time they will go away on their own, so we’ll just try that.”
Everyday communication can be such a minefield here.
Cosmetology for verruca. It seems a fair swap.
Well, we kinda do have a word for it. Wart. Plantar wart, if you want to be specific about it.
ReplyDeleteThey are yucky, aren't they?
Huh. Certain parts of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory suddenly make a lot more sense.
ReplyDeleteDo you want me to mail you some Bazooka? :)
Who was it that said '2 nations, separated by a common language'?
ReplyDeleteAm racking my brains to think of other words we could trade: Marmite, scone, grockle, cockle, bouoy (pronounced correctly), mufty? Apologies if these are common parlance in the US...
This is bringing back horrible memories of painful feet!
ReplyDeletetrust the brits to have a beautiful lyrical multi-syllabic word for something that really only requires one ugly splat-like syllable: WART.
ReplyDeleteand bazooka.....that's a kind of bubblegum, isn't it? who knew that bubblegum was a cure for warts? ah well, better than dipping your afflicted area in stump water at midnight and walking backward toward the moon, or whatever my irish ancestors did.
Don't bet on them just going away. They don't. Whereas warts do (ie the sort on your hands etc)
ReplyDeletePerhaps your cosmetologist could remove your son's verruca. After all they do 'everything' Just don't tell your son he's going for a 'pedicure' at a ladies hairdresser's. Cosmetologist sounds positively scientific. I'm sure he'd love that.
Perhaps you could put together a British/American pocket guide for us to help with our daily activities. It would help me, if no one else.
ReplyDeleteI did know what a verruca is (occupational hazard, knowing these things) but I don't get half the slang from my British blog buddies the first time around. I have to stop for a second, think it through and then laugh. I do think, all in all, that you have much funnier descriptive words.
Found your blog through Somewhere Over the Pond . . . one of the Britishisms I learned through reading Douglas Adams was "Perspex" which we call "Plexiglas" in the States.
ReplyDeleteI never knew verruca was an actual word!
Hee hee, I imagine they don't have verrucca socks then?
ReplyDeleteHow embarrassing were they?
LOL
I also found that Californians have no idea what 'chilblains' are. For obvious reasons.
ReplyDeleteHmmm. I think I'll keep cosmetlogy.
ReplyDeleteBut I must say "verruca" sounds more pleasant than "plantar wart".
Do the Americans, then, have more poetic words for veruccas? or worms? lice? nits? or indeed any of the other little treasures our little treasures bring home? Here we have something called a putzi (pronounced pootzi), or mango fly, you get it when your mother is a lazy cow and won't iron the inside of your clothes (mango flies lay eggs on nice warm clothes on the washing line). If you don't already know how to deal with mango fly, you don't ask, certainly not in a chemist where another - better - mother might overhear you or else - in unlikely event anybody was in any doubt you were lazy cow - your secret will be out. Mine was when my kids tumbled out of school one day scratching delightedly, Maaaaaaaarm, we've got mango fly. It got worse: maaaaaaarm I think I've got worms again. Oh gawd.
ReplyDeleteWe stay at home Brits can rely on someone as amusing as you to discover 'sorry lacunas in American English' on our behalf. Thanks. Just off to discover what lacuna means now - every day, something new...
ReplyDeleteha ha i'd forgotten about 'bazooka' ! bazooka that verrucca. do americans not get them then? i love hearing about these english/american misunderstandings, it's fascinating.
ReplyDeleteA verrucae is caused by the human papilloma virus and you are correct they can sometimes go away on their own. The body will recognise the virus at some point and they will resolve, but this can sometimes take years. If they are painful, or are causing distress, a podiatrist can help in their treatment by using certain treatments.
ReplyDelete