When I was growing up, if you did something naughty, you got a telling off, or a ticking off. Nowadays, being ticked off has a different meaning. English children still get told off, though (at least I think they do).
In Scotland, children get a row. "If you don't eat all your peas, I'll give you a row." That kind of thing. It adds a whole new dimension to the nursery rhyme Row, row, row your boat.
I've been thinking about what phrase is used here in the US, and I can't say I know. How can that be? Has the subject never come up in discussion with any of my friends? Surely I must have heard someone mention it, even if only in passing. The only equivalents I can recall having heard are putting children in time-out, or giving them a consequence, (a consequence, not a punishment, mind). But those are actions, not speeches. A good old-fashioned telling off is a speech, isn't it? (Mine usually begin "I've told you before...")
Can anyone tell me if Americans 'tell off' their kids? What is the phrase?
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Surely they tell off their kids? What do they do instead? I do quite a lot of telling off, usually with children gazing all around the room and completely ignoring me (which doesn't half press all my buttons and end in melt down - mine).
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to see what the Yank version of being told off is. you're right, it is not the same thing as having a consequence at all (never heard that term before, not sure it is one I'll be adopting!)
I've heard "tell off" in use here in the States, but something like "scold" might be more common. "I'll give him a scolding" or "I'll scold him".
ReplyDeleteOr maybe "give him a talking to".
Something I've noticed is, via email at least, I'll say, "Oh, speaking of [topic]...", whereas my Brighton-area Brit friend will say "talking of [topic]...".
In America, parents fuss at their children or chew them out for misdeeds which is like being told off in the UK or in some cases, parents might resort to yelling. As an American living in the UK, I found the expression, ' telling off ' a difficult one to get used to at first because it seemed so much more severe than a slight disagreement. Telling off in America is like washing your hands of someone or saying, ' That's it, we're done! '
ReplyDelete"Chew you out!" I think is the phrase which sounds terrifying to a Brit like me. A telling off seems mild in comparison rather restrained than being chewed out...
ReplyDeleteThis made me laugh, being told off, usually meant that my mum was very "cross with me" something that also confuses our American friends! Emma
ReplyDeleteIn my house we "got in trouble" or were "scolded." I didn't hear the term being told off until I moved to England.
ReplyDeleteI 'got in trouble' too growing up in CA. Sometimes I was also told I was going to 'get it' if I didn't behave. Who knows what 'it' actually was.
ReplyDeleteLiving in the UK now my kids get 'told off' mostly.
Yes, our children get "told off." It is used in some places in the U.S. I live in a mid-Atlantic state and we use it here but you are most likely to hear "scolded" or "chewed out" or "setting straight". So I might say "My son gave me some lip (or back talk) so I set him straight."
ReplyDeleteNo lie - I was downtown (Chicago) last week, can't remember when. A mother with one too many children, yelled at one of them who looked like he was going to wander off - "If you don't get back here, I'm gon hurt you!" I'm sure she didn't really mean it and the child looked like he heard it every day of his life but I thought it was a bit extreme.
ReplyDeleteI must admit i say to my teens (with a menacing tone) that if they don't do so and so there "will be consequences".
My husband says in the South they often say "You'll get a talking to."
My mother used to tell me if I didn't behave she'd give me *What for* and my dad used to say he'd *Half murder me*!
ReplyDeleteMaggie X
Nuts in May
My children get told off. Although I wouldn't threaten them with 'a telling off' - I'd probaby say that they were going to be in Really Big Trouble.
ReplyDeleteI've noticed here that most children get a time out. Or, yes, consequences. Littleboy 1's teacher is terribly keen on consequences. She told me that LB1 said to her 'Mummy doesn't know what consequences are'. That's probably because I never use the word with him. To me, Consequences is a party game you play with a piece of folded-up paper...
When I was little I got a lecture, or yelled at by my mom. From my dad just got the belt and he didn't say much at all.
ReplyDeleteWhen mine were little they'd get scolded or a time-out, but as teens they now get an ass chewing.
I would probably say 'talking-to' 'fussed at,' although my kids might refer to it as 'getting yelled at' even though I rarely raise my voice. When I was growing up, I probably would have referred to it as 'getting in trouble' or 'getting a lecture.' As a transplant to the American southland, my favorite phrase that I have heard used here is 'come-to-Jesus', as in, "That boy is failing all his classes. It's time for a little come-to-Jesus." Not having grown up here, I believe(but am not 100% sure) that this is related to the sort of Bible Belt revival meetings where a hellfire and damnation sermon is preached and everyone is convicted of their sin and streams down to the altar to repent. Of course, I'm not sure, but that's the image I get. Husband and I love this and use this one between ourselves quite frequently. I teach high school, so if a class has been acting up and I have to give them a talking to (or fuss at them),I would refer to that as having given them a 'come to Jesus' speech. I have also heard it referred to as a 'foot of the cross' speech. In either case, I think it implies a lot of justified anger anger and condemnation on the part of the speaker and some expected remorse on the part of the listener..;)
ReplyDeleteI'm in the UK and mine gets "a right roasting"
ReplyDeleteMaybe they say "I'll do a George Dubya on you"? As in make you listen to an incomprehensible ramble that is so far off the rails and full of misplaced metaphors that the child never makes the same mistake, for fear of appearing to have a dunce for a parent?
ReplyDeleteNo? Okay. Maybe not.
LCM x
My kids "get told off" for many a thing in this house. When we moved to Asia there was lots of talk of "scolding". Totally freaked me out. I naively expected "a telling off" to be a universal description for a parent sorting out a problem with a child. Yep, that naivety lasted less than a week and I realised there were many many hurdles to jump before I broke through the culture barrier.
ReplyDeleteMDx
The old non-pc expression was "get it". "Uh-oh, you're gonna get it now." "Wait til your father comes home, you'll get it then."
ReplyDeleteWhatever "it" was depended on your family and could range from a scolding to a spanking.
I think the modern version is 'time out' which means I'm going to scream at you when we get home. Right now, while we're out and about 'time out' is my warning that I'm really cross, you'd better stop what you're doing. Moms can say 'time out' without losing it in front of their friends!
ReplyDeleteDo we not say "tick off" any more? Why did nobody tell me??? And what else does it mean? (Is it something rude? Have I been inadvertently shocking people all over the place?)
ReplyDelete"Rachel, if you don't clean your room before your father gets home, you're going to get a talking to!" :)
ReplyDeleteHa. My English children of a Scottish mother get a row. They also have a shot of things, instead of a go or (even posher) a turn. But when we're in company they are told off.
ReplyDeleteYes, consequences are a big one here. I quite like it, teaching that actions have consequences, it makes sense. Though my friends little girl was under the impression that "consequences" were some kind of monster, that "the consequences" would come and get her if she was naughty!
ReplyDeleteI remember saying, 'Right, you've done it now' to an American boy I was looking after. He was very pleased because he thought it was a huge compliment on completing something!
ReplyDeletei don't think you "tell off" your kids. "telling off" is more of a one-upmanship, a scolding with a clear winner. i think parents scold their kids but don't try to "win."
ReplyDeleteand isn't "row" (as in argument) pronounced rau? and row your boat is pronounced roe?
I seem to remember friends in Canada getting a 'talking to'... we just got told off.
ReplyDeleteI came late to this post and once I read it I looked at the number of comments (25 at that point) and chuckled 'I thought there'd be a few opinions on this one!' Very good for getting people 'talking'!
ReplyDeleteAnd Im just trying to think. I guess I use 'telling off' here in the UK, but I cant remember what my parents said to me back in the States. Probably I never got in trouble so it was never brought up. *Smirk*
I have just remembered that when I had been really naughty and my mother was very angry, she would say "I'll swing for you one of these days". I found out years later that it meant she was tempted to do me so much hearm that she would have hanged for it!
ReplyDeleteI've thought of another couple of terms. Does anyone else remember being given "a dressing down"? And then what about "a tongue-lashing"?
ReplyDeleteMy parents wouldn't have used the term "tongue-lashing" - I think that was what we kids called it. And "a dressing down" was probably for older kids - it was serious stuff. What on earth would be the origin of "a dressing down" (no, not a dressing gown!)
My thought is that "dressing down" comes from the military, but I can't find any solid information to back that up.
ReplyDeleteYou may find this discussion of interest, though: http://forum.wordreference.com/showthread.php?t=1334312
Crude but 'ripped a new one'. This is more when an adult is yelled at by another adult...
ReplyDeleteInteresting topic XOL