I was helping at 8-yo’s class Christmas party. My duty was to organize one game. In the car on the way there, 4-yo was asking me all about the event. Who was going to be there? Were other little brothers and sisters invited? Would the brothers and sisters be allowed to join in the game? Would they be allowed to have the snack?
I explained to the best of my knowledge (I wasn’t entirely sure what the party was going to be like myself, beyond my own game). Then she asked “How will the kids know how to play the game?”
“I’ll explain the rules to everyone before we begin”, I replied.
“Will the little kids understand the rules, or will they just watch the big kids and do what they do?” she asked, in such a matter of fact way that my heart melted.
Of course it didn’t need to melt. I know that second, third, and subsequent children “come on” much quicker than first children. Parents are amazed at the way their second children whizz by the milestones, and make sense of life so speedily. Perhaps it’s a little unsettling to think that all that careful parental input lavished on the first child, is less effective than the contribution of the sibling toddler, who does no more than potter on with daily life, oblivious of his or her role as a teaching model to number two.
As it happened, she was the only little sibling there, understood the instructions (it wasn’t a difficult game), was taken under the wing of her brother so that they both dropped out of the game together, had at least as much snack, if not more, than everyone else, and thoroughly enjoyed herself. She can't wait to start school. I sometimes wonder if we parents are more in danger of getting in the way of our children’s learning, than of not helping them enough.
Iota, that is so true! I look at Boy #2 and am constantly amazed at his ability to suck knowledge in, knowledge which, as you say, comes more from his brother than it does it from his parents...
ReplyDeleteYou are right, the second ones do develop much faster in some ways. Littleboy 2 can count to 5 and goes around singing 'ABC', copying his older brother who has only just learned these things recently himself.
ReplyDeleteWhat a sweet story. My daughter 4 yrs younger than her brother is always desperate to catch up & be as good. She asked me one day "When will I be the same age as my brother?" Perhaps she thinks that if she learns everythign at breakneck speed she'll make up for lost time & catch up with him....
ReplyDeleteI often reflect on this. As I only have one little boy, it is important that he mixes with other children. When I see him at school events, I realise he is perhaps not as savvy as those children with siblings...but strangely, this makes him very popular with the other kids...they want to look after him. My best friend has four kids, so she regularly absorbs him into the fold...and when he comes home it's like he's had a knackering day at the office...he just wants to sit and (metaphorically)read the newspaper...play with his lego.
ReplyDeleteI wish you and your lovely family a merry and peaceful Christmas.
Mya x
Ha, so true. I was told in no uncertain terms last week by his teacher that my 5 year old is, in fact, perfectly capable of taking his own snow boots off and putting his shoes on. (Actually worng, since his silly father bought him lace up shoes instead of velcro jobbies, but never mind.) I think she thinks I baby him, which I might, but helping him with the boots etc is just so much quicker!!
ReplyDeleteDefinitely true Iota. As the mum of an 8 year old and a nearly four year old I am sometimes amazed at how they interact. Miss M seems so much more grown up when she talks with her big sister. I suppose the older sibling babies them less than maybe we do??
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