A parent's moral dilemma: the reveal

Great answers, everyone. I really enjoyed hearing from you all.

In reality, what happened was this. I asked Husband, who, after all, does teach RME (Religious and Moral Education) and has whole shelves of books on ethics, so you would think he would have an opinion. Failing that, he could quote Socrates or Bonhoeffer and I could get cross and accuse him of being irrelevant. Either would be possible. In the event, he asked

"What did you actually tell 11-yo you'd do?"

I thought about it, and I replied

"I told him that I would ask the neighbours and the postman next time I saw them, because they were the obvious people who could have dropped it.* So yes, I had said I would ask the postman. "

This made it much simpler. [At this point in the story, you may feel unfairly treated, like when a murder mystery author introduces a new fact about a character or situation which you couldn't possibly have worked out for yourself, and which is key to the denouement. In my defence, may I point out that when I was pondering the rights and wrongs of the case, I was in your situation too. I didn't see this piece of information as relevant. It took Husband "just call me Hercule" to dig it up, shine a light on it, and reveal it as important.]

So I told 11-yo, that I'd asked the postman, that the money belonged to him, that I'd repaid him, and that 11-yo needed to give me the cash. I was fully prepared to be met with disbelief, annoyance, accusations of being unfair, and 11 year old wrath, and I was ready to argue my case. But 11-yo said

"Oh, ok then. Well that's his good luck, isn't it?"

and coughed up the dosh, without a murmur of hesitation.

Being a parent is full of surprises, isn't it?

But one moral dilemma leads to another. As I was telling Husband the end of the story, I said I was glad for the postman, who's such a very nice and helpful guy. And then I paused to reflect, would the issue have been the same if the postman had been a miserable, grumpy geezer? Would I have done the same thing? Should I have done? At this point, Husband muttered something about being late for work, and hastened off, shaping his moustache between thumb and forefinger, tapping his cane on the ground, and practising rrolling his Frrench rr's.


*in the front garden, where it was found, to those of you still wondering why the postman would be snooping round our back garden.
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