Nooooooo.....!
I remember well the day I was shopping, deep in the heart of America's Midwest, in Target, with my sister-in-law who was visiting from London. We saw an adult fleecy onesie for sale, and we both had to suppress a nauseous reaction. If we weren't physically gagging, we were very nearly doing so. I seem to remember being vaguely comforted by the idea that this was America, and we couldn't imagine these abominations would ever catch on in Britain. Alas. How wrong we were.
Why, oh why, would any self-respecting adult buy a onesie? Is that it? Have those who bought onesies done so as a statement of lost self-respect? Is it a way of getting referred for therapy on the NHS? Do you go to your GP, and say "Not only do I struggle with feelings of depression, but I've also bought a onesie"? Or were those millions of onesies all bought by people who didn't know what else to get friends and relations for Christmas?
A onesie. It's a step down from a slanket, and that's saying something.
Do you wear a onesie like pyjamas? In which case, aren't the soles of your feet all dirty when you go to bed? Or do you wear it like a dressing gown - over your pyjamas? In which case, isn't it just horribly bulky, like Michelin Man? Does it make you feel like you're in a fleecy version of Star Trek? Don't you get very cold when you go to the loo? Do you find yourself hopping about, crossing your legs, sucking in your breath, while you fumble with that long, long zip? Or poppers? Please don't tell me you have poppers.
Please, if you're a 1 in 8, enlighten me. 'Fess up. Are YOU one of them?
I might have just vomited on my computer screen. Poppers on an adult's onesie (the word alone!!) - that's too much for me. Gross.
ReplyDeleteI am not one of them but since I am a person who always chooses comfort over fashion I must say I am very tempted. I didn't get the Snuggie but these Onesies would be so damn cozy. I guess this means I'm officially middle aged. Oh well pass the Sweet Sherry
ReplyDeleteEmma
www.cocktailsatnaptime.blogspot.com
Doesn't this make you a 7 in 8 rather than a 1 in 7? And eww, no, I don't have one.
ReplyDeleteJen - you're so right! I am going to break one of my own rules, and correct that (I normally don't amend a blog post after it's written).
ReplyDeleteHang on... I'm puzzled now. I am one of the seven. I can't be a 7. I am one of the seven out of the eight.
ReplyDeleteI've changed it.
I agree with ALL of your points. I am definitely a member of the 7 in 8 group!
ReplyDeleteI note that even the model for that picture had to use his 'Invisible Man' persona to deal with the shame... (so no. I am NOT one of the 1 in 8)
ReplyDeleteI like your logic of one of the seven out of the eight. :-)
ReplyDeleteNope! Not me.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I wonder WHO MAKES UP THESE STATISTICS?? Because that's a ridiculous number of people to have a onesie! (and no, not I either!)
ReplyDeleteSome people wear them out in the street - as in 'ooh I'm a big hungover I'll put my onesie on. Actually I'm peckish too I'll just pop out band stock up on wotsits and chocolate Hobnobs.' These are probably the same people who spent 3 hours getting ready the night before, so fastidious they were about their appearance in public.
ReplyDeleteI'm in the 7. Definitely.
ReplyDeleteDefinitely don't own one and I can't say I've ever seen anyone wearing one, even in the US. Clearly I move in the wrong circles....
ReplyDeleteI don't own one myself but there is one in my house - H's secret Santa present was a zip up penguin onsie now resident in the dressing up box as my 2 year old thinks it's hilarious when Daddy dresses as a penguin. I think the data must include a fair few comedy Christmas presents which is some relief for the sartorial future of the country.
ReplyDeleteI don't, my husband doesn't, our three adult children don't, their partners don't my sister doesn't. That's zero out of nine. Must run in families, one way or the other!
ReplyDeleteOMG the mention of poppers made me feel ill, yuk! I am a brit living in the Midwest where its -22C today and I will never ever wear anything so awful in my life, I would rather go cold, is that the Brit in me speaking?
ReplyDelete::whistling nonchalantly::
ReplyDeleteWell, clearly I am woefully out of touch with modern fashion trends, because I didn't even know 'onesies' were a thing. The only 'onesie' I am familiar with is those things with the snap crotches I put my babies in when they were small. I have never seen anyone wearing one either on TV or in real life. Maybe they just haven't reached Seoul yet. To add insult to injury, I don't even know what poppers are - what are they?
ReplyDelete10 yo has one. Never wears it (fleece. Too hot)
ReplyDeleteI do have "yoga pants" aka baggy bottoms that I sometimes wear to watch TV after a bath, to dh's utter and vocal revulsion.
J x
My son, aged 16, got a onesie for Christmas and loves it but then he is a lazy teenager so it does rather suit his whole persona. It's a smart one, with no feet so doesn't get dirty and has a zip which works from both ends so he can go to the loo without taking it off.
ReplyDeleteHe adores it and I am that daft mother who bought it for him.
My daughter (age 13) still likes her 'feety jammies', but my 10 year-old son has decided he no longer likes his. NO adult in this house would be caught dead wearing them. A couple of years ago someone bought me 'regular' pyjamas that were made of fleece fabric and I ended up giving them away - the fabric was very uncomfortable - always too cold or too hot.
ReplyDeleteNever. Ever. Ever.
ReplyDeleteBut at Green Park tube on Saturday lunchtime (I was in LONDON!!!) B and I saw no fewer than six people in onesies.
There were two sheep, a dalmatian, a martian(? - it was all over green, with a green face. Possibly a caterpillar, on second thoughts) and two others we couldn't immediately identify. I said that was fancy dress, but apparently, if it's an all in one (couldn't see if there were poppers or not at that distance) it still count. Says B. I disagree. Fancy dress still has a degree of irony, doesn't it?
I may have received a giraffe, almost onesie - my feet aren't covered, for Christmas from my in-laws. I must admit it's warm to pull on over pjs in the morning or evening when I'm waiting for our drafty house to heat up. However, I would never wear it out in public!
ReplyDelete