Marvellous mothers

As you know, these days I am hot on the case of Mummy Guilt. I am the masked crusader in the cape (the freshly laundered cape), battling that particular evil vilain. And in that spirit, I thought I'd just tell you what a fabulous mother I've been this morning, before rushing away to my secret hideaway, changing out of my superhero identity, and emerging into my real life as a humble toy store sales assistant. Ha! If only they knew...

The best 'fabulous mother' bit of the morning was the 15-minute car journey from the State Chess Tournament (10-yo participating) to the soccer pitch (13-yo participating). So for that to happen, you already have to imagine the whole mullarkey of getting two children to two places at the same time, each wearing different kit, needing different equipment, bla bla bla, which involved calling in favours from friends. Overnight favours on this occasion. So let's take that whole bit as read.

Then I need to tell you that I was on check-in duty at the Chess Tournament. This is a front-line job. It's not a front line you want to be in. I don't want to say too much, because I've never organised a big competition and I imagine it's not easy, but I think it is true to say that those who are good at chess (strategic thinking skills), are not necessarily those who are good at designing and supervising check-in systems for large numbers of children (organisation skills, people skills). Suffice to say, that one element of my job was to comfort a child in tears who'd been shouted at by one of the other organisers.

So anyway, after an hour of front-line duty and disorganisation, I then drove to the soccer match.

In the course of the journey, I answered the following questions:


what happens if you break a law?

how do the police find out?

how much is a fine?

what's a trial?

how do pet shops get birds to sell?

what does 'breed' mean?

can you unbreed animals?

what's the biggest pet you can have?

you can't really have a horse if you live in a town, can you?

do we live in a town?

what kind of party did you have for your 7th birthday?

when you play soccer, how do you not be the goalie, if you don't want to be the goalie?

would you like to be an ant?

really? did you know that they only live two days and they have people trying to squish them all the time?

would you really really really like to be a bird and be able to fly?


You have to admit, that for someone who has been up since 6.15, doesn't drink caffeine, has been dealing for an hour and a half with the potent cocktail of chess officials under pressure and members of the public, is mentally preparing a strategy to winkle out small shreds of information about her oldest son's first formal dance (yes, age 13) the previous evening while also enthusing about the goals he has scored... to be able to find the brain space to explain the judicial system in language a 6 year old can understand, recall childhood memories, ponder the metaphysical questions of creaturely existence, AND keep a car on the road in a straight line... I think it's pretty darn impressive. And let's admit it, this is standard fare for most mothers. You've all done this stuff too. You do it all the time. We are marvellous things, and should stop feeling guilty and inadequate.

Oh, and did I mention that Husband is away at the moment for nearly two weeks? Did I hear someone offering me a gold star to sport on my cape? Ooh, yes please (so long as it's an iron-on one).


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