I am sad

I am sad. I am sad and weary. I am sad and weary and I have a question.

Those of you who have followed this blog for a while will know that Husband and I have been trying to return to the UK for, oh, two years or so, this move being dependent on Husband finding employment. One of the bad things about being a stay at home mum is that you find yourself in a position to contribute little to the mix, and entirely dependent on the whims and vagaries of the field of work of your spouse (in Husband's case, a very narrow field). The job search coincided with the credit crunch and its aftermath, and though Husband's area of employment isn't exactly at the sharp end of the business world, and perhaps a little cushioned from other people's harsher realities, no doubt the timing hasn't exactly helped.

I am sad, because we have just had disappointing news of the latest application, and weary, because this feels like boringly familiar territory. Husband has been doing all the right things. His cv ticks all the boxes. He knows how to present it. He has spent time networking with people in the field. He keeps in touch. We do not wallow in what Americans call 'a pity party' each time he is unsuccessful, but get right back up, and look for the next opportunity. He is not picky.

Here is my question, though. Is recruitment in other people's fields quite as bruising an experience as it has been for us - or have we been particularly unlucky? I can't help thinking that in most businesses, the process goes something like this: the job is advertised, a shortlist is drawn up, candidates are interviewed, one is appointed, and the others told they've been unsuccessful. In Husband's two areas of potential employment (universities, and the church - or church-related organisations), the process seems more like entering a maze. It is very common for no candidate to be appointed, and the post re-advertised in a slightly different format a few weeks or months later. It is very common for the process to take months. It is very common for the process to take months, and then to be abandoned. It is very common for them not to bother to tell candidates what has happened. It is very common for the whole thing to be a cover for the appointment of an internal candidate. With crashing irony, the time when Husband was in that situation, and all his department had to do was appoint him to carry on with his research, for which they had received money from the government ear-marked for that purpose and for him specifically by name, they managed to appoint someone else instead, who had no relevant experience at all. The words 'piss-up' and 'brewery' come to mind. It's how we ended up in America.

Is the business world more efficient? I suppose committees of philosophy and/or theology academics were never going to be the speediest and most efficient of decision-making bodies, were they? I picture them all in a room, trying to discuss the relative merits of the candidates, stuck in the mire of theoretical considerations, and going off on tangents from which they have no hope of ever returning.

As for the church, well, I can only despair. Husband has been on the receiving end of the kind of behaviour from senior church men and women, on both sides of the Atlantic, that would make the Pharisees blush. If there isn't a Parable of the Blushing Pharisee, there jolly well ought to be. The inefficiency, the waste of money and time, the in-fighting, the empty promises... Most of all, the sheer lack of consideration. Do these people not realise what kind of effort goes into a job application? And the time it takes? Blimey, if Husband was paid by the hour for job applications and their accompanying preparation, he wouldn't even be looking for a new position, we'd be so wealthy. Do they not realise the emotional energy that is expended? Over literally months? Do they not think what it is like to consider moving a family? Because with every clergy job (not just in our case), it's not only the job that's involved. It's the location, the house, the schools, the whole life? Don't they think about that at all?

It is with this in mind that I am SO tempted to drop in the name of the latest Bishop who has just changed his mind on a job. This job was advertised in April, and then again in September, after a failed first round. Flight tickets had been purchased for Husband's interview. He wasn't guaranteed the job - I get that. So I know that it was a risky business getting excited about the place, and researching what it might be like to live there. No, he hadn't been promised the job, but he HAD been promised an interview. At a week's notice of the flight, he received an email saying the Bishop had decided nor to go ahead with the post at the present time. At least they are refunding the flight ticket (they'd asked us to pay half). And now Husband has to go away and hide somewhere for a week, because of course he'd told people he was going away, and has arranged for classes to be taken in his absence. It wouldn't do for him to bump into students in Dillons.

I realise that this all sounds horribly petty, and of course I don't know the inside story. I don't know what pressures other people are operating under, and I don't know what frustrations and problems they face. But for heaven's sake, STOP promising more than you can deliver. Stop it. Just STOP IT.

Oh, and the reason I'm so very tempted to name that Bishop is this. I know he, or one of his communications staff, will have his name on google alert. I just know it. And I want him to realise that this is a big deal. That for him, what is just a little twist in some Diocesan politics, or an unfortunate mistake, or an embarrassing glitch, for us, is life-changing. I want him to know, because once people get to a certain level in an organisation, they forget what it's like to be nearer the bottom of the pile, and they have people around them who shield them from the memory. They don't even have the decency to write emails themselves (too busy, too important). But of course I won't name and shame, because we can't afford to be alienating people in such a small world. A small sucky world.

Back to my question. Is our experience typical? Is recruitment in every sector such a painful process? Or is Husband just in the wrong business?

I should really retitle this post. I am sad. I am sad and weary. Most of all, I am sad and weary and ANGRY.