Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Further woes of a returning Brit

Laundry. It's a common cause for angst amongst Americans living in Britain. As I said in my last post, I find I've crossed the line. I'm in the Big American Washing Machines and Dryers sisterhood now.

There's another divide I've traversed. It also reduces me to a quivering heap of rage from time to time. I'm sure you can guess what it is. Yup. Customer service. Tell me...
  • Why do I need a pound for a supermarket trolley? Does the supermarket not want my business? Do they not want to make it easy for me to shop with them? Don't try that prevention-of-vandalism argument with me. If I was a vandal intent on a late night jaunt involving some drunken friends, a shopping trolley, a hill, and a disused quarry or murky canal (sounds quite fun, actually), I don't think the need for a pound coin would put me off. 
  • Why do shop assistants expect me to stand and wait while they finish their personal conversations?
  • Why do they think it makes it better to say "I'll be with you in a minute"? I am the customer. Be with me NOW.
  • Why do shop assistants say "It's over there" and wave vaguely in the direction from which I've come? I wouldn't be asking them where it was, if I'd found it "over there".
  • When they say "It's over there", why do they add "or it should be"? I'm not interested in where it should be. I'm interested in where it IS. 
  • When I say "I couldn't find it over there", why do they ask "Do you want me to show you?" OF COURSE I want you to show me. If I didn't want you to show me, I wouldn't have asked. 
  • Why do shop assistants content themselves (but not me) with saying "I don't know"? It is your job to know, or to find out.
  • Why is the British public so happy to be told "It's up to you, really"? Yes, it's up to me - I'm the customer after all (perhaps I should just remind you of that) - but I am asking for your advice. That's why you are in this job.
  • Why do waiters ignore me studiously when I want the bill? Do they not WANT my money?
  • How on earth do the public loos in cafes and shops pass health and safety standards?
Oh dear, I can feel my blood pressure rising as I write this. Too many UPPER CASE WORDS are creeping in. I'll have to go to Belgium for a day. That'll make me feel better about British customer service.

.

18 comments:

  1. Hilarious. I mean, I feel your pain of course, but this made me laugh, envisaging you struggling to maintain yr restraint.

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  2. Ooo the pound thing for a shopping trolley makes my blood boil...

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  3. I'm just about to post my Expat Focus column along the same lines and I'm including you for your last post. This is hilarious though. IMO American customer service isn't always as good as they make it out to be, but yes, sometimes the inability to link customer service with customers coming back, in the UK, astounds me.
    My best story ever was years ago when I went out for Sunday lunch with my sibs. I asked what the soup of the day was and the waitress answered "I don't know" and then stood poised, waiting to take my order. I asked her if she could go and find out please, and she literally sighed and went off. My family were none too pleased with my "American ways" either. The soup turned out to be French Onion soup, which isn't exactly everyone's cup of tea, but I doubt very much if they'd have let me send it back because I didn't like it.

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  4. I'm totally with you on the trolley/pound thing - and it's particularly annoying at airports, where chances are you don't have a pound coin anyway.
    But I think supermarket people are just as rude here (maybe it's a New York thing). When you ask where stuff is and they just wave a hand and say "Aisle 42" without pointing you in the right direction? And chatting at the till? That's de rigeur in Staples, I believe.

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  5. My worst experience of pound for a trolley was at a Canadian airport where we were in transit. We didnt have any local currency so had to lug our suitcases and accompanying small children across the airport sans trolley. So it's not just Britain!

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  6. Hehe! Customer service in the UK is generally bad like you say, certainly in terms of attitude. Staff having personal convos annoys me too - sometimes at the supermarket, they will run your food through and ignore you, whilst they talk about their night out to the server at the next checkout the entire time.

    US customer service is always polite and eager to please, my only gripe with them is they sometimes have very narrow knowledge and don't have any idea if you go slightly off-script: AT&T are particularly bad for stuff like this, I think they give their workers very limited training and what they do give is all about just selling products. But generally, in shops, restaurants, etc it is better than UK.

    The worst experience that I ever had was in East Germany, just after the Berlin Wall came down and it was still essentially a Communist country. I do think that there is a bit of a trade off between worker's rights and customer rights. The East German workers were virtually unsackable and you had to beg them to serve you. American workers have very few rights and are eager to please, which is good for the customer, but not so good for workers. A balance is needed.

    Of course, part of the British problem is that the lower classes down't want to appear servile, but that's another story, which I'll maybe blog about myself...

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  7. I HEAR YOU, I HEAR YOU. SORRY, AM I SHOUTING AS WELL?

    LCM x

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  8. Yes, yes, and yes. I just realized why it is called a dryer - it makes your clothes drier, not driest :)

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  9. Gotta love a good rant!! Deep breath.

    I always forget about the asking for the check thing. I'll find myself sitting and waiting for ages before realizing that I need to ask for it.

    Happy Friday!!

    xoxo
    Selena

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  10. Still, mustn't grumble.
    ;-)
    J xxxxx

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  11. I have known no different as I've always lived here but all of the things you pointed out irritate me too.
    Maybe I should go to the USA for a helping hand when I go shopping. Maybe we are too tolerant or maybe its because we've never known any different.
    Maggie X

    Nuts in May

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  12. You think you've got problems. I live in France and need a Valium before I go to the supermarket. If you find a dinged can when you're at the check out, you have to go and get another and hold up at least 4 trolleys in the queue - as they never feel the need to keep all their check out open. The 21st century hasn't started in this neck of the woods. And don't get me started on telephone customer service centers. Grrrrrrrrr
    When I'm back home in the UK I have to be physically restrained from heading straight to John Lewis near Manchester airport and personally hugging every assistant. Re the coin. I just keep £1 in my glove compartment so I'm fully prepared. Oh, and €1 over here. Plus ça change......
    Love the blog by the way.

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  13. In Waitrose?? Or are you eschewing Waitrose?

    And actually I find US customer services quite unnerving:

    Why are you asking me how I am? You don't care....

    And no, if I want help, I'll ask for it... Stop making me feel uncomfortable. I'm only in here because I'm killing time....

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  14. First -welcome to the BAWD Sisterhood - suffering along with you here in Korea!
    One of the reasons I never ever shop at WalMart in the US (besides the fact that I disagree with many of their HR policies and brutal crushing out of small businesses, of course)is because of employee attitudes. I always get the impression that employees in WalMart have the feeling that, if you're shopping at WalMart, it must be because you can't afford anything better, and therefore, you don't deserve better service -sort of, 'that's the price you pay for wanting a bargain' attitude. In general, though, I think most US companies do emphasize good customer service - although the employees don't always necessarily provide it. And I absolutely loathe and despise shops where the employees are working on commission - they drive me crazy and make me want to run out screaming. All I want is to be left alone - unless I have a question, and then I want you to be instantly available for whatever I need. Is that too much to ask?

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  15. All we Brits need is John Lewis service. Is that too much to ask? The sort that makes you come out shouting "I love that shop" to all the strangers you meet.
    J x

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  16. I agree with everything you say!
    I think the £1 coin for a shopping trolley was introduced to stop us leaving the trolleys lying all over the place in the car park. Certainly the car parks look a bit tidier now! But I do worry about the person whose job it was to go and round up the abandoned trolleys - is he out of a job now?
    I agree about the customer service in Waitrose and John Lewis - it's probably the best here.

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  17. LOVL! (That's Laughing Out Very Loud, joining in with the caps, see?)

    There's little tokens you can buy that are pound shaped and have a hole so you can attach them to a little clippy thing on your key ring so you won't accidentally spend them and you'll always have a handy 'pound' for the trolly. I have one with a union Jack on it!

    I just moaned about British customer service over on MsCaroline's blog as my example of irrational expat anger.

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  18. So true! There are a few shops where they get it really right, I've had to go to Halfords a couple of times in the last few months and both times I was literally bowled over by their level of customer service. Given Halfords is not exactly my kind of destination shop - there's no clothes, no shoes, why would I go there... it was a pleasant surprise the first time I went there and made sure they were top of my list for the second time I needed something car-related. Hey and I've even mentioned them in a comment on your blog, I never do stuff like that! Anyway, enough already. Customer service in this country overall really needs to improve. Full-stop!!

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