I am thrilled by the act of taking a box of cast-off books to our local second hand bookshop, and receiving $9 for them. It feels like a good deal. I like the idea of them finding new homes, and helping the bookshop on its way. And $9 is better than nothing. Today we are going to talk to our realtor about dropping the price of our house. What will she suggest? $2,000? $5,000? More? So why did $9 feel so good? Why is my purse stuffed with coupons: 75 cents off a box of cereal?
I am enjoying seeing my everyday people and doing my everyday things. I also have a bucket list (hate that term, but it's convenient short-hand) of things I want to do and see locally. When I do those, I say "I can't believe we've been here five years and I've only just discovered this". The familiar and the unexplored. Both feel important, but they are competing for time. Not only time. Mental space, and emotional space too.
Blogging can be at the extremes too. I read the posts of people for whom life is pottering on, and the content is about school sports day, or chicken pox. I also read the posts of people for whom life is intense, and the content is about dealing with their child's serious long-term health, or a bereavement.
The universe must be reading as I write. I've just been interrupted by my daughter in her dressing gown. I thought we were going to have our usual conversation.
"Can I go on the computer?"
"No, I'm busy writing something."
"When can I go on the computer?"
"Ten minutes. Maybe twenty minutes. Go and play for twenty minutes and then you can."
"I'm bored. I don't know what to do."
But today she cut to the chase.
"I feel sad."
"Why do you feel sad?"
"Because it's June."
So we had a hug, but now she's pottered off, and here I am, still "busy writing something" on the computer, but yes, it's June, and when June is over, we will no longer be here, which has been home for the past five and a half years.
That would be a good way to conclude this post, but wait, I haven't finished yet. Here's another pair of extremes. In my email inbox the other day, one above the other, were three emails asking for my attention, and for air time on my blog. One was telling me all about how I could join in some PR event to try out new strollers. I replied, pointing out that my youngest child is eight years old. That one served only to make me more receptive to the other two, which were personal, thoughtful, and worthwhile. So I offer you, one in each of my hands, the following:
Gemma Robinson, who has sniffed me out as a fellow tea enthusiast, and whose hand-made art prints I am happy to draw attention to. You can find them here. "Parsnips are the enemy" made me laugh (though I really love parsnips, so I'm not sure why).
And Syria. I was invited to write about the horrors that are happening in Syria, to raise awareness. Many other bloggers are doing so today. You can read their posts in the links here. I am shocked and horrified by what I've read. I want to care about Syria. I believe that (as Edmund Burke said, and Potty Mummy quoted) 'All that's necessary for the forces of evil to win in the world is for enough good men to do nothing.' But I can't feel and do very much for Syria at the moment. I just can't.
Life at the extremes. Sometimes all you can do is hold out your hands.
It's a big move for you, after five years. I know what she means about it being June. Another school year is over, fini. My youngest will never be in Kindergarten again. I feel sad just writing that. God knows how I'll feel this time next year when we're in the same position as you are now. Well done for managing to hold it together.
ReplyDeleteAs NVG said, it is a big move! Plus, it maybe is just one of those days.
ReplyDeleteI am one of the pottering bloggers at the moment... ;-)
ReplyDeleteThe familiar & the unexpected & things on yr To Do/Go To' list are all important. & don't forget to build yr RAFT, an acrostic denoting a pre-departure process developed by the late Dave Pollock, founder of Interaction International. It is useful to begin the RAFT process up to 6 months before leaving. But, hey better late than never!
ReplyDeleteR- RECONCILIATION- Begin building your raft by asking yourself if you have any relationships that need mending. Is there any unfinished business between you and someone you are in relationship with? This is the time to give and receive forgiveness. Bitterness and regret stemming from lack of closure and resolution inhibit good grief and adjustment to a new location. Mend your fences!!
A- AFFIRMATION- This is the time to thank the people who have been involved in your life. Affirm the relationships you have made and what they have meant to you. Take the time to tell people what you have learned from them and how grateful you are for them. Try to leave as little unsaid as possible when you leave a place.
F- FAREWELLS- Say good-byes to people, places, pets and possessions that have mattered to you. Take lots of pictures. Take the time to say culturally appropriate good-byes. Some cultures require a lengthy departure process. Particularly difficult farewells are the ones that are generally rushed or put off, plan ahead and give the farewell its due.
T- THINK DESTINATION- Think and dream about where you are going and what it will be like. Be very honest about the expectations you have for the people and situations that you are going to. Be honest with yourself about how you feel about this transition. Think ahead to what scares you or excites you about where you are going. Research the realities of your destination. If at all possible, put concrete plans in place.
There's a time for everything. Right now, your time has to be for your family's big change. (And what good guidance Paradise In Translation has given to all of us!) You can leave the worry over Syria to others for now. There will be a time in your life when you can focus on Syria, or whatever evil will float to the top next, and you'll carry the weight for someone else who can't. Thank you for sharing so much of your journey. I'm glad you're planning to continue the blog when you get to Scotland!
ReplyDeletePoor you, you sound quite overwhelmed. I would be too. I haven't moved house in 19 years (anniversary will be in 4 days time!) and I would be in absolute dread of it! I think I'd have to hire 11 skips and just dump everything in them.
ReplyDeleteIt's very stressful having your home on view all the time, and I totally agree, why can't people just view it online and buy from there. save a lot of bother!
What a beautifully written post! Really enjoyed reading it! We have lots of extremes in our lives at the moment: health issues and in limbo about a big international move, but we are still pottering on, and most of my blog posts reflect this. The good thing about having kids is that we have to keep it together for them even when our worlds are all over the place. And sometimes going through all the normal day-to-day stuff is a good distraction from all the big changes that are going on. Good luck with your move! No doubt this month is going to be a very busy and emotional one!
ReplyDelete