The card was intimate enough that it was clearly intended for my parents and not just wrongly addressed. It greeted them by name, and it cheerily exclaimed "We really must meet up in 1989!" It had one sentence of hand-written news about the children, Faye, Michael and Anne: "All doing well" or some such generality.
We then sat back and watched over breakfast, as my parents struggled to remember who Derek and Joyce were, and - crucially - how they could reciprocate and get a card in the post to them before Christmas. My mother thought that Derek, a friend of my father's living in South Africa, must have remarried in the course of the year, moved to England, and acquired three step-children. My father thought that Joyce was an old friend of my mother's from her nursing days, who'd decided to get in touch again on a whim. This all played out in front of our delighted, conspiratorial eyes.
We left it a day or two, and then confessed. Derek and Joyce passed into family lore, and the next year my parents received another card from them, this time complete with newsletter all about the lives of Faye, Michael and Anne, their grown-up children.
I'd like to say that Derek and Joyce are still sending Christmas cards within my family, but actually, they petered out after two or three. Best to leave a joke at its height than flog it to annual death. They did make a guest appearance, more than a decade later, when they left a card at the wedding of a friend of mine, signing it "With fondest love, and we're just sorry we can't be at the wedding ourselves. Hope you like the present, and if not, we've included the receipt so you can exchange it" - but of course there was no present or receipt. A few months later, Derek and Joyce sent my newly-wed friends a Christmas card. "So sorry not to have been with you for your special day, but we've heard all about it and seen lots of wonderful photos. It looked like a magical occasion, and what sweet little bridesmaids! We do hope you enjoyed the present." The amazing thing was that I got a card back from them. "Thanks for your card. Have a super Christmas. Love from Derek and Joyce". In spite of the anonymous postmark and the disguised handwriting, my friend had guessed who Derek and Joyce's creator was.
I think of Derek and Joyce at Christmas time, obviously, and particularly when I hear God Rest You Merry Gentlemen, when the chorus comes round:
O-oh, tidings of Derek and Joyce,
Derek and Joyce!
O-oh, tidings of De-e-rek and Joyce!
.
What a lovely story! I really did enjoy that.
ReplyDeleteHappy New Year.
Maggie X
Nuts in May
Ha ha. Love that sort of thing. I got a post card from Italy about ten years ago and I still haven't worked out who it was. It was definitely intended for me (coz it had my name on) and I think it was from an American as s/he referred to "pithy English humor" which no Brit would do. However, I couldn't read the signature, no one I knew was in Italy for three weeks at that time - so, a mystery. I have kept it though - who knows?
ReplyDeleteHow on earth did you last a day let alone 2 before telling your parents? Brilliant!
ReplyDeleteThat was a fun story and what a good idea to keep them alive for the benfits of your friends too. Too bad you got found out. You could have had a lot of fun over the years to come. Everybody needs a mysterious couple in their life.
ReplyDeleteI love it! It is something my sister and I would have brewed up - it's never too late :)
ReplyDeleteFantastic, I love it!!
ReplyDeletethat is a great story. we have "luther" in our family. it started with an old black and white photo my dad found in a drawer of old photos--it was a christmas picture, not quite sure whose house-perhaps our grandparents' house? perhaps our aunt's house?--and a man in a bathrobe nobody recognized. someone had printed in block letters on the white border, LUTHER.
ReplyDeletesince then he has made appearances every so often, signing the guest book at my wedding, and showing up with his own set of photos in the annual family slide show. nobody is ever *quite* sure who is behind all this, and frankly i think with a family my size it's not always the same person.
That is very funny. I do remember my parents getting a Christmas card from 'Bob and Helen' one year, and having no idea who these people were. But how much more inventive to make someone up!
ReplyDeleteI have to say that is the funniest thing I've read this week so far!! I am just imagining my parents trying to work out who a mystery couple are... very good. :)
ReplyDeleteAnd happy new year!! x
Marvellous. Can I detect the not insignificant hand of Charlesinparis in that?
ReplyDeletexxx
J'ph
Charlesinparis can't remember, himself
DeleteT'was a joke that ran and ran and it STILL has good memory-legs
Cheers
Oh I LOVE this idea! How funny. I think I might have to steal this and do it next year. That said, I struggle to get all the Christmas cards from me written in time as it is. It's lovely you've remembered Derek and Joyce in song.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant. Something that should be spread. We should all send a 'Derek & Joyce' this year just for the sake of spreading comic confusion!
ReplyDeleteFantastic story! If I'd known of this before Xmas, I might have tried it with my parents. :-D
ReplyDeleteAbsolute genius. This one is definitely getting a re-run.
ReplyDeleteOh now I am scared for my life when GG and the Bug grow up! But how marvellous to have such creative children!
ReplyDeleteLOVE it! Am smiling for the first time today! (Sorting out a burgled house on a grey January day when I'd rather be in the sunny Middle East hasn't put me in the best frame of minds for 2012!)
ReplyDeleteOh, and Happy New Year!
That is so funny and brilliant! Really hope we have that kind of banter with our kids when they're older.
ReplyDeleteWe received a Christmas card this year that wasn't signed but was addressed to all four of us. It then said 'Note - I broke my ankle rather badly recently so we'll be spending Christmas at home'. We've asked every possible source but still haven't a clue who it is!
It wasn't you, was it?!
Ahh, I see a trend here. Does Dee Parrot ring a bell!
ReplyDeleteI am going to have to brush this off! What a great idea
ReplyDeleteHa ha ha ha ha. That is such a brilliant idea. May have to pinch it and do it to the in-laws next Christmas. They'd be very excited, especially if Derek and Joyce lived somewhere nice where they could go and stay for free...
ReplyDelete